Category: Life Coaching


In life, everyone faces some form of trauma. That trauma could be large, such as losing a family member, friend, or another loved one. It could be something smaller, such as losing a relationship in the form of a break-up. But there are other forms of trauma as well. Perhaps you had a tremendous job that you worked hard for and loved, only to be laid off. Maybe you were diagnosed with a physical injury that left you unable to perform your favorite hobby. All of these things are extremely difficult to deal with and can evoke complex emotions. It is important that we give ourselves time to feel those emotions, but also that we then focus on the process of healing.

Sad Lady

Understand That Everyone Faces Trauma In Life

When we go through a trauma in our lives, sometimes it can feel as if we are going through things alone. But it is critical to understand that everyone faces trauma, and that millions of people are going through something similar to you at this very moment. There are a number of groups that meet both in person and online that focus on healing from specific forms of trauma. It might help you to find a group where you can share your emotions and experiences with others.

Taking The Opportunity To Heal Is A Decision

Healing is not a given, it is a decision that you make to better yourself. Some people do not make the decision to heal from a trauma, and as a result, they often end up living a minimized version of their lives. They cannot get past the feelings of bitterness and anger. The choice to heal is usually a difficult one, but it is worth it for the long term. Healing comes in many different forms. What constitutes healing for you may not work for a friend or a family member. Some people heal through exercise and playing sports. Some people do it through writing a journal. Others may do it through creating music. For some people, it might be as simple as talking through their emotions with a close friend or a professional. But you must make the conscious decision to heal.

Man Heealing Through Music

When You Suffer Less, You Can Reach Your Full Potential

Healing from trauma is a process that is different for everyone. Some people can go through the process relatively quickly. For others, it can take months or even years. You have to learn to heal at your own pace. Healing is the step that you cannot skip if you want to get through trauma and come out on the other side with a positive mindset. Refusing to heal can leave you feeling bitter at best or broken at worst. But embracing the healing process can help you to get past your trauma and reach your full potential.


Have you ever felt as if you were lost in your life? As if you did not have a direction and weren’t sure what the next step in your life should be? Maybe you have a vague sense of what your goals are, but don’t have a strategy. Or maybe it is the opposite, you have a strategy for how you approach problems but you aren’t totally sure what your goal actually is. Clarity in life often brings a sense of understanding and of greater purpose. By sitting down and clarifying what you are actually working towards, you can become happier and make it easier for you to actually achieve those goals.

Clarity in Life

Are Your Goals Clear?

When your goals are clear, you often begin feeling a deeper sense of understanding and purpose. Many people have a vague idea of what they are working for, but an explanation of their goals lacks detail and nuance. For example, many people say they “want a raise.” But that isn’t necessarily clear is it? Do you want a promotion? Do you want to get a raise by getting an entirely new job? Some people may say, “I want to go back to school.” But similarly, the details are lacking. What do you want to study? What job do you want to get afterwards? How many years do you plan to spend in school? How much money are you going to invest in your education? Planning out the details put you in a better position for success.

Do You Have A Detailed Strategy?

Having goals isn’t enough. You need a strategy for reaching them. If you want a promotion—how are you going to go about doing that? Job performance is a part of that, but you may also need to network within your organization. You might need to show greater leadership by helping your co-workers with their projects. Figure out what your strategy is for your goal, and then stick to it. You’ll need a specific strategy for each individual goal you have, because you can’t attack two different goals the same way.

Man Thinking About Life Goals

Clarity Brings Understanding

Think about your own life. Have you ever taken the time to sit down and think about precisely what your goals are? Have you considered what your strategy is for reaching those goals? If not, you might benefit from thinking about how you can make those things more clear. Clarity often makes life feel simpler, and makes striving for goals easier. It removes the sense of a fog that makes it feel like we are wandering blind through life, without the ability to see the path that we need to be on.


When we think of forgiveness, we’re often thinking of forgiving someone else for wronging us. But we’re not thinking about forgiving ourselves for a mistake or an error. Everyone makes mistakes, but we often carry our own mistakes with us and remind ourselves of them internally. This behavior can be destructive, as the inner voice we all have is quite powerful in the way it shapes our thoughts and our behaviors. It is important to learn how to forgive yourself. That forgiveness can allow you to put your best foot forward and to move past your previous mistakes.

Inhale The Future

Most People Carry Their Mistakes Indefinitely

When you continue to carry your mistakes with you, you are holding on to a weight that is dragging you down and making it almost impossible to move forward. It is akin to wearing ankle weights and a weighted vest while trying to compete in a track meet. Holding on to your mistakes isn’t going to help you, all it is going to do is keep you living in the past, where you can’t navigate the challenges you need to address in the present. If you are someone who holds on to their mistakes, you aren’t alone. Most people have engaged in this behavior at some point or another.

Learning To Forgive Yourself Isn’t Always Easy

It is important to recognize that self-forgiveness is not easy. This is not something that happens overnight. This is a long process, where you are going to have your ups and downs. You must remain committed to improving your outlook over time.

Forgive But Learn The Right Lessons

Although it is critical that you learn how to forgive yourself, that is not the end of the journey. You also have to learn the right lessons. If you made a mistake, you want to make sure that you learn why and how it was made. Which factors led to the decision or outcome? Once you have a handle on the situation, you can determine how to avoid the mistake in the future. After you’ve figured that out, you can stop blaming yourself and move on with a clear conscious.

Self-Forgiveness

Self-forgiveness can be very powerful when it is applied correctly. You want to learn how to forgive yourself while not forgetting the lesson. That way, you can learn not avoid making the same mistake in the future. This isn’t an easy process, and it can take months or even years to learn how to properly forgive yourself for past mistakes and move on. But once you have the ability to forgive, it is like having a weight lifted off your shoulders. You can finally put your full effort into new tasks and projects without thinking back on your past mistakes. This sense of clarity and purpose can help you to focus on what is important, instead of living in the past.

* Inhale The Future image credit goes to: Toa Heftiba.

* Self-Forgiveness image credit goes to: Bryan Minear.


The way that you perceive yourself, others, and events affects your actions, your mood, and your emotions. Often, we think of events as having a clear meaning. If you made a mistake at work, for instance, maybe you felt that it was a problem that dragged down your performance. Instead of perceiving the event in that negative light, you could instead view that mistake as an opportunity instead of as a negative problem. By choosing to frame events positively, you can improve your long-term outcomes and respond better to adversity. Here are some ways that you can learn more about the power of perception.

Be the Buzz

Perception Plays a Big Role in Your Happiness

Happiness is all about how you feel about yourself. And how you feel is often tied to your expectations. Did you get that big promotion? Did you graduate on time? Did your relationship take the next step? If things didn’t go your way, how are you responding? Are you blaming yourself and sulking? Are you shutting yourself off from the world? Or are you responding positively and using what you learned to do better next time? If you perceive these events as a positive opportunity, then you can feel happier. You might even come to appreciate the fact that you didn’t get it right the first time, so that you can learn more and grow throughout the process.

Changing the Way You Perceive Events

You don’t change the way that you perceive events over night. After all, our perception is something that has been conditioned into us over years and years. You must be mindful enough to think about how certain situations make you feel. If you are feeling negative and upset, think about why. Is it a specific person, event, or action that you took? Think about reframing this event and considering what lessons you can learn. For example, if you didn’t get the promotion, maybe you can learn more about networking and improve your skills so that you’ll look even better next time.

Learning Not to Adopt the Framing of Others

Humans are social creatures, and one of the most common Be Happy things we do is to take on the emotions and feelings of the group. When there is a negative presence in the group, this can actually be detrimental for you personally and professionally. Make sure that you take the time to consider how you feel, and make sure that you aren’t perceiving events negatively because of the poor influence of others. After all, misery loves company.

Perception is all about choice. You choose how you perceive and frame events, people, and even yourself and your own actions. You might notice that people with poor attitudes often perceive themselves as failing at a task. Instead of feeling inadequate and having a poor mood, you would be much better off viewing that failure as a chance to learn and get better. Choose to be positive and choose to frame events in a way that is beneficial to you in the long-term. When you adopt the negative framing and perceptions of others, you put yourself at a disadvantage and make it easier to quit in the face of adversity.

* Be the Buzz image credit goes to: Tanya Santos.

* Be Happy image credit goes to: Alex Block.


We’ve all been there. You have an idea, and you’ve been kicking it around for a bit, but you haven’t really mapped out your end goal and exactly what you need to do to get there. Instead, you think that at some point you’ll have a “eureka moment.” That light bulb image, where you go “Ah-ha!” and suddenly have all of the knowledge that you’ll need in order to complete your task. Unfortunately, light bulb moments only happen in the movies and in comic books. In the real world, you’ll need to put in work in order to get the success that you want. Stop waiting around for a light bulb to appear over your head, it isn’t going to happen. Clarity comes from doing research and success comes from hard work.

Man Gathering Positivity

Waiting For A Eureka Moment Means We Don’t Put In The Necessary Work

Waiting around for the light bulb to go off means that you aren’t going to put in the necessary work to achieve success. It means waiting around for a moment that in all likelihood isn’t going to happen. Instead, think about precisely what you want to accomplish. Then write down what you need to do in order to get there. Map it out and write down the steps in chronological order. This will help to set you on the right path and break the problem down so you can handle it incrementally.

This Is A Process—It Doesn’t Happen Overnight

The eureka moment is all about an instant solution to a problem. But in real life, solving problems is a process that takes days, weeks, and months. Sometimes, solving a difficult problem can even take years. After you’ve figured out exactly what your goal is and written down what you need to do in order to get there, have a solid idea of how long it is going to take you.

Success Isn’t A Straight Line

Light Bulb One of the reasons why people wait around for eureka moments is because they have a misconception about success itself. Many people believe that the path to success is a straight line upwards. Nothing could be further from the truth. Success only happens after trial and error, after failures and recalibrations. That means putting yourself out there and trying new strategies and not being afraid to fail. A light bulb moment is all about an instant, miraculous solution to a complex problem. That doesn’t happen in real life. Be prepared to fail and try again.

At the end of the day, you can’t simply wait around and hope that you’ll think of a brilliant, instant solution to your problems. Your problem is likely more difficult and a bit more complex than you think. That is why it is important to make sure that you put in the work to solve it. Be ready to work during the weeks and months ahead.

* Light Bulb image credit goes to: Christian Dubovan.

* Man Gathering Positivity image credit goes to: Joshua Earle.


It is easy to say “learn from your mistakes”, yet it is a whole different story to actually do it. Learning from our mistakes isn’t always as straightforward as it sounds. Especially when we don’t recognize the mistake, or multiple factors led to a certain outcome. Had we known all the details, we might not have made the mistake in the first place. Being a “work in progress” and learning from our mistakes is an analytical process of carefully identifying what really happened, and the action steps we need to take to guarantee a better outcome.

Ladder to Sky

Success isn’t About Avoiding Mistake

Nobody is perfect, especially not the most successful people in the world! Avoiding mistakes is impossible, the most famous businessmen, athletes, and politicians make them, and sometimes those mistakes are major blunders on the public stage. Only “the Best” however learn from their mistakes and become better for it. Those that fail have not learned the lesson and either continue to make mistakes or quit. It is important to recognize that being successful isn’t all smooth sailing. It’s a messy process of wins, losses and persistence. Being successful is all about the ability to reflect, admit, and be courageous enough to do things differently than before.

Take Time To Think

Learning from our mistakes takes time. After evaluating what went wrong and why, it is important to think about the lesson. Was the learning that you were rushed and you need to take more time to prepare, or maybe the lesson was about who you can trust to collaborate. Whatever the lesson might be, everything happens for a reason. Learn to look for that reason, find the learning, and keep it in mind. Which brings us to my last point.

Learning To Be Mindful

When you are working, or simply cruising through life, stay mindful of the lessons that you learn. It doesn’t have to be the only thing that you are thinking about but keep your lesson readily available in the back of your thoughts. Maybe you need to give yourself more time to finish projects. If that is the case, expend more energy focusing on how you can give yourself just that so you aren’t rushing to finish. Being mindful at work and in life is a skill that will help you be happier and more successful throughout!

Mindfulness

Learning from your mistakes isn’t something that you’ll instantly pick up on with no effort. It takes practice, and you most likely aren’t going to get it right the first time. But what you want to do is take responsibility and always evaluate your part in what happened. Don’t ever let things be just other people’s mistakes, this will not further your growth. If you can figure out your contributing factors that led to the undesired outcome, then you can figure out how to succeed in the future. Being mindful of the changes you need to make in life, at work and in your relationships will keep you on course to overall success!

* Ladder to Sky image credit goes to: Samuel Zeller.

* Mindfulness image credit goes to: Lesly Juarez.


Managing stress can be one of the biggest challenges in life, and dealing with anxiety typically makes it extremely hard to gain control over the direction your life is going! Everyone who has ever dealt with anxiety and stress will most likely agree that it feels like you are the only person in the world who has these problems. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Anxiety and stress are common issues that everyone deals with to some extent. Learning how to manage anxiety and stress successfully will allow you to live a happier life, improve relationships and be more effective and successful at work.

Sunset

Stress Happens To Everyone

Stress often feels like something that nobody else is going through. Anxiety is the same way. It can feel extremely lonely when you are anxious. However, it is important to realize that you aren’t alone. You aren’t different, weird or less worthy for going through these kinds of struggles. Maybe you are anxious about a new project at work. Or maybe you are stressed thinking about changing careers. Whatever you are going through, other people are feeling it too. If you were to talk to other people you’d find that their experiences are similar and relatable.

Figure Out What Makes You Calm And What Brings You Joy

We all need time to relax and unwind. Figuring out positive ways to do so is key to your mental health. Plenty of people use negative vices (such as cigarettes, alcohol, gaming or social media) to alleviate stress. These ways of coping can create more problems than they solve. Instead, think about starting up a daily light exercise routine, or a creative hobby, such as painting, cooking, or writing a blog. Exercise as well as creative expression trigger chemicals in the brain, which make you feel happier and more relaxed.

Stay In The Present Moment

This one can be pretty hard. Staying in the present moment is a meditation technique. But it allows us to shed fears or shame from thoughts of the future or the past. Instead of worrying about what might happen in five days, or months or years from now, staying in the present moment allows us to stay focused on the here and now, so that we can accomplish the task at hand. Staying in the present moment is harder than it sounds because our minds naturally wonder off to specific moments and possible futures. But staying in the present allows us to maximize our potential and avoid worried thoughts about what could happen.

Practice Autogenic Training – A Deep Relaxation Technique from Europe

Autogenic Training, or AT, is a century old stress reduction technique to quiet the mind and reset the stress response in the body. AT is widely used in Switzerland and practiced at schools, universities and corporations to reduce stress and enhance well-being. Everyone can learn it in just a few guided meditative sessions provided by a certified teacher.

Open Book

Realizing that you aren’t the only one who has to deal with stress and anxiety will make you feel less alone, and figuring out new ways to respond to stress will make you happier, healthier and more effective at work and in life. Staying in the present moment and avoiding negative thinking will keep you grounded and focused on what is most important. While we cannot completely eliminate stress, we all can develop a solid plan to get the upper hand so stress is not controlling your life!

Feel free to email us or give us a call if you’d like to learn more about the power of the mind and how to beat stress once and for all!

* Sunset image credit goes to: Mikkel Jönck Schmidt.

* Open Book image credit goes to: Ben White.


Have you ever been under tremendous pressure at work? Have you ever had to complete multiple projects with a relatively short turnaround, and it left you feeling dread and panic? You aren’t alone. We’ve all had moments where we cracked under pressure. The key is that we learn from those moments and then develop a system for learning how to stay calm in the future. You might have felt overwhelmed at the time, but you can definitely learn how to be cool, calm, and collected when things get heavy. Panic, fear, and frustration are natural human emotions, but we can learn to keep our heads and get the job done with a little practice.

Don’t Panic

Here is the most important thing that you need to learn—don’t panic. When you panic, you waste valuable time and mental and emotional resources. You can’t be effective at your job in the midst of a panic, and other people looking to you for help or guidance will start to feel the same emotions. If you are feeling panic, take a few moments to yourself and breathe. Remember that the world isn’t crashing down. You’ve been through worse and survived. Now think about the task at hand and what you need to do in order to be successful. Focus on the task and not the emotions.

Calmness

Break The Big Problem Into Smaller Tasks

A lot of the time, we panic at work because we see the large scope of the task we’ve been assigned. But that doesn’t have to be the case if we break a big problem into smaller tasks. Instead of looking at the massive project we’ve been tasked with this month, we can instead break it into weekly assignments that are more easily digestible.

Keep A Strong Support System

In critical moments, we might have feelings of fear and doubt. It is natural after all! Keeping a strong support system is key to your success. You can bounce ideas off of them and get their opinions on important tasks and decisions. At work, your support system might be your boss or a mentor. In your personal life, it might be your parents or a close friend. Your support system can help you get through difficult times by reinforcing your positive traits and helping you limit your negative thoughts and emotions.

Learn From The Moments

The thing about life is sometimes we fail at the tasks we were working on. Sometimes we don’t get it right. Sometimes we let panic overwhelm us completely. It is important that we look back on those moments and evaluate where we went wrong. From these moments we can get valuable insights. By sharing them with trusted confidantes we can gain valuable feedback. If we don’t learn from these mistakes, we are likely going to make them again at some point. So make sure that even when you do fail, you learn from what happened and are prepared not to make the same mistake again.

* Tree image credit goes to: Faye Cornish.


This Is Your Life!

Oftentimes, we are pushed to think of others instead of ourselves. And in many ways, this benevolent, compassionate way of thinking leads to positive outcomes. Being selfless is a valuable trait, and we look for it especially in our leaders. But there is such a thing as being too selfless, to not think of yourself enough. And when that happens, you can find yourself feeling resentful. An example might be your friend asking you for help on a personal project. Initially you are happy to help, but she keeps asking for more commitment and more sacrifice on your end, giving up your time and even your money on her behalf. When you ask for reciprocation, some kind of assistance on a project of yours, she claims to be too busy to help. This is a situation where being too selfless can actually lead to resentment and adversely affect the relationship. You need to make sure that even while striving to be a compassionate person, your wants, needs, and goals are still being met, and that you put yourself first in some situations. Check your boundaries to not sell out on yourself!

Happy Man

Don’t Neglect Yourself Helping Others

Have you ever felt completely drained when listening to someone else vent about their problems? Being a sounding-board for your friends and family is compassionate. However, lending an open ear to everyone who needs it may leave you feeling drained. And who is there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on? Are the people you come to rescue whenever they need help available and able to do the same for you? Most people are happy to return the favor, as long as you let them in. Carrying your own problems all by yourself may leave you feeling like you are doing all the emotional lifting in the relationship, and that is where the problem begins. Open up to others and ask for a favor in return!

Your Wants, Needs, And Goals Are Valuable

Most “helpers” are good at neglecting their own needs. If this is you then make sure that your personal wants, needs, and goals are a priority! Most likely you can’t focus entirely on yourself while you lead, listen, and care for others. But if you don’t make yourself a priority you can’t be there for others. You will burn out and eventually feel anger and resentment. Make sure that you take time out of your schedule to focus on your needs. Everyone will benefit when you are healthy, happy, balanced and fulfilled, and you won’t have to deal with the feelings of annoyance, resentment, and anger that come along with neglecting your heart. Which brings us to our last point:

Happy Business Man

You Don’t Get To Do This Twice—Follow Your Heart

You only get one life. Make sure that you follow your heart and work hard to make your dreams a reality. Sometimes that will mean you won’t have the time to be as compassionate as you want with others. That is okay. If you make an effort to help other people, it is important to focus on your own goals as first. As easy as it sounds to follow our dreams, it is the hardest thing to do for many. Let us help you take the first small step to creating a meaningful and fulfilling life!!

* Happy Man image credit goes to: Chang Duong.


Have you ever noticed that when you are around certain people, your motivation seems to wane and you get into a bad mood? That’s actually a common problem, especially for employees at work. Motivation drainers can make it difficult for any group to come together, and their negative attitudes can sap you of your energy and drive to get things done. Unfortunately, you can’t always get rid of motivation drainers, especially if they are your co-workers. In some situations, if they are toxic friends, you can get rid of them. But that isn’t always a possibility, so you need to be prepared to develop ways that you can cope and bounce back after negative energy tries to take hold of you. Here’s how you can be better prepared to deal with motivation drainers:

Staying Motivated

Getting Rid Of Negative People

In some situations, as we previously outlined, it won’t be possible to get rid of negative people. They might be your co-workers, for example. But if they are your friends or acquaintances, that is a different story. First, approach your friend and let them know how their constant negativity is affecting you. If they won’t change, or claim that they aren’t being negative at all, then it is time to limit your exposure. There is a difference between a friend being a realist (trying to prevent you from investing in a scam for example) and being constantly negative (downplaying your dreams and accomplishments all of the time). Don’t let that negativity fester and drag your attitude down with it.

Stop Letting the Past Keep You Stuck

Sometimes the motivation drainer isn’t another person—it is yourself. If you have ever let past failures keep you from trying to reach your goal, then you need to reassess your own attitude. Fear of failure is strong, but with good practice you can overcome it. The past doesn’t determine your future. If you didn’t graduate college, that doesn’t mean you can’t go back to school and have success. If you haven’t gotten promoted yet, that doesn’t mean it isn’t going to happen. Challenge your own negative self-assumptions and strive to reach the next level.

Remember To Recharge

If you are dealing with negative people that you can’t avoid at work, then make sure that you recharge. This will help you to process the negativity and balance it out with things you enjoy, such as hiking, jogging, painting, or listening to music. Find something that you are passionate about and let that be your balance. You can recharge at night after work, or on the weekends when you have more time. Just make sure that you take the time to do so, so that work doesn’t leave you feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

* Tree Photo by Jeff King.