Category: Life Coaching

Have you ever been under tremendous pressure at work? Have you ever had to complete multiple projects with a relatively short turnaround, and it left you feeling dread and panic? You aren’t alone. We’ve all had moments where we cracked under pressure. The key is that we learn from those moments and then develop a system for learning how to stay calm in the future. You might have felt overwhelmed at the time, but you can definitely learn how to be cool, calm, and collected when things get heavy. Panic, fear, and frustration are natural human emotions, but we can learn to keep our heads and get the job done with a little practice.

Don’t Panic

Here is the most important thing that you need to learn—don’t panic. When you panic, you waste valuable time and mental and emotional resources. You can’t be effective at your job in the midst of a panic, and other people looking to you for help or guidance will start to feel the same emotions. If you are feeling panic, take a few moments to yourself and breathe. Remember that the world isn’t crashing down. You’ve been through worse and survived. Now think about the task at hand and what you need to do in order to be successful. Focus on the task and not the emotions.


Break The Big Problem Into Smaller Tasks

A lot of the time, we panic at work because we see the large scope of the task we’ve been assigned. But that doesn’t have to be the case if we break a big problem into smaller tasks. Instead of looking at the massive project we’ve been tasked with this month, we can instead break it into weekly assignments that are more easily digestible.

Keep A Strong Support System

In critical moments, we might have feelings of fear and doubt. It is natural after all! Keeping a strong support system is key to your success. You can bounce ideas off of them and get their opinions on important tasks and decisions. At work, your support system might be your boss or a mentor. In your personal life, it might be your parents or a close friend. Your support system can help you get through difficult times by reinforcing your positive traits and helping you limit your negative thoughts and emotions.

Learn From The Moments

The thing about life is sometimes we fail at the tasks we were working on. Sometimes we don’t get it right. Sometimes we let panic overwhelm us completely. It is important that we look back on those moments and evaluate where we went wrong. From these moments we can get valuable insights. By sharing them with trusted confidantes we can gain valuable feedback. If we don’t learn from these mistakes, we are likely going to make them again at some point. So make sure that even when you do fail, you learn from what happened and are prepared not to make the same mistake again.

* Tree image credit goes to: Faye Cornish.

This Is Your Life!

Oftentimes, we are pushed to think of others instead of ourselves. And in many ways, this benevolent, compassionate way of thinking leads to positive outcomes. Being selfless is a valuable trait, and we look for it especially in our leaders. But there is such a thing as being too selfless, to not think of yourself enough. And when that happens, you can find yourself feeling resentful. An example might be your friend asking you for help on a personal project. Initially you are happy to help, but she keeps asking for more commitment and more sacrifice on your end, giving up your time and even your money on her behalf. When you ask for reciprocation, some kind of assistance on a project of yours, she claims to be too busy to help. This is a situation where being too selfless can actually lead to resentment and adversely affect the relationship. You need to make sure that even while striving to be a compassionate person, your wants, needs, and goals are still being met, and that you put yourself first in some situations. Check your boundaries to not sell out on yourself!

Happy Man

Don’t Neglect Yourself Helping Others

Have you ever felt completely drained when listening to someone else vent about their problems? Being a sounding-board for your friends and family is compassionate. However, lending an open ear to everyone who needs it may leave you feeling drained. And who is there for you when you need a shoulder to lean on? Are the people you come to rescue whenever they need help available and able to do the same for you? Most people are happy to return the favor, as long as you let them in. Carrying your own problems all by yourself may leave you feeling like you are doing all the emotional lifting in the relationship, and that is where the problem begins. Open up to others and ask for a favor in return!

Your Wants, Needs, And Goals Are Valuable

Most “helpers” are good at neglecting their own needs. If this is you then make sure that your personal wants, needs, and goals are a priority! Most likely you can’t focus entirely on yourself while you lead, listen, and care for others. But if you don’t make yourself a priority you can’t be there for others. You will burn out and eventually feel anger and resentment. Make sure that you take time out of your schedule to focus on your needs. Everyone will benefit when you are healthy, happy, balanced and fulfilled, and you won’t have to deal with the feelings of annoyance, resentment, and anger that come along with neglecting your heart. Which brings us to our last point:

Happy Business Man

You Don’t Get To Do This Twice—Follow Your Heart

You only get one life. Make sure that you follow your heart and work hard to make your dreams a reality. Sometimes that will mean you won’t have the time to be as compassionate as you want with others. That is okay. If you make an effort to help other people, it is important to focus on your own goals as first. As easy as it sounds to follow our dreams, it is the hardest thing to do for many. Let us help you take the first small step to creating a meaningful and fulfilling life!!

* Happy Man image credit goes to: Chang Duong.

Have you ever noticed that when you are around certain people, your motivation seems to wane and you get into a bad mood? That’s actually a common problem, especially for employees at work. Motivation drainers can make it difficult for any group to come together, and their negative attitudes can sap you of your energy and drive to get things done. Unfortunately, you can’t always get rid of motivation drainers, especially if they are your co-workers. In some situations, if they are toxic friends, you can get rid of them. But that isn’t always a possibility, so you need to be prepared to develop ways that you can cope and bounce back after negative energy tries to take hold of you. Here’s how you can be better prepared to deal with motivation drainers:

Staying Motivated

Getting Rid Of Negative People

In some situations, as we previously outlined, it won’t be possible to get rid of negative people. They might be your co-workers, for example. But if they are your friends or acquaintances, that is a different story. First, approach your friend and let them know how their constant negativity is affecting you. If they won’t change, or claim that they aren’t being negative at all, then it is time to limit your exposure. There is a difference between a friend being a realist (trying to prevent you from investing in a scam for example) and being constantly negative (downplaying your dreams and accomplishments all of the time). Don’t let that negativity fester and drag your attitude down with it.

Stop Letting the Past Keep You Stuck

Sometimes the motivation drainer isn’t another person—it is yourself. If you have ever let past failures keep you from trying to reach your goal, then you need to reassess your own attitude. Fear of failure is strong, but with good practice you can overcome it. The past doesn’t determine your future. If you didn’t graduate college, that doesn’t mean you can’t go back to school and have success. If you haven’t gotten promoted yet, that doesn’t mean it isn’t going to happen. Challenge your own negative self-assumptions and strive to reach the next level.

Remember To Recharge

If you are dealing with negative people that you can’t avoid at work, then make sure that you recharge. This will help you to process the negativity and balance it out with things you enjoy, such as hiking, jogging, painting, or listening to music. Find something that you are passionate about and let that be your balance. You can recharge at night after work, or on the weekends when you have more time. Just make sure that you take the time to do so, so that work doesn’t leave you feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

* Tree Photo by Jeff King.

From an early age, we learn to doubt ourselves. We are taught that being a skeptic is good, and not to believe strangers. When we are young, this is good advice. Children are innocent and don’t have the life experience to know right from wrong. They genuinely wouldn’t know if someone is steering them in the wrong direction because they simply haven’t been alive long enough to know the difference. But the problem is that we don’t leave this behavior behind as adults. Instead, we don’t trust out instincts and our life experiences. We second guess ourselves and don’t give ourselves the credit that we deserve. Here is why you should start trusting your instincts.

Man Thinking

It Isn’t Just About Intuition, You Are Reading Social Ques

Sometimes we’ll have a bad feeling about a situation or a person. And instead of taking the right action, we’ll brush it off and say we don’t have enough evidence to come to that conclusion. Maybe you are in a position to hire someone at your job, and you are getting a bad vibe from a candidate. But you ignore the feeling, and hire them anyway. Chances are, that your feeling was accurate, and you’ll probably come to regret the hiring. It isn’t just intuition that you have, you are actually reading social ques. You might have picked up on their body language, or maybe they said something to you that didn’t quite seem right in retrospect. Your feelings are valid, and you should make sure that you don’t ignore them.

Don’t Disregard Facts That Disprove Your Narrative

At the same time, you want to make sure that the decisions you make aren’t totally going against the grain. If facts arise that disprove your narrative or show that you might be wrong, you should explore them. Don’t hold on to a narrative that can’t be supported as new facts arise. You should always be willing and open to change your perspective if the circumstance demands it. However, you shouldn’t dismiss your own initial feelings out of hand either. Trust your gut, and don’t ignore your intuition. But if a long line of facts come to light that disprove your notion, you have to acknowledge them.

Man Meditating

Become More Confident

Learning to trust your gut will help you to become a more confident person. You’ll be more apt to lead projects at work and you’ll have better success at trying to accomplish your goals. When you trust your intuition, you will second guess yourself less. Learning to become more confident is a skill, something that you can improve at over time. And becoming more confident will open up a lot of paths to leadership positions at your job or at other organizations.

Do you want to be braver this year? Do you want to have the courage to attempt things that you would have shied away from before? Are you looking to take up a leadership position but fear that you don’t have the right level of bravery to make things work? Bravery is something that is universally admired in almost all cultures. We all look up to people who were brave, who had to walk off the beaten path to establish themselves and make life better for other people. In history, we might see these people as Presidents such as Franklin D. Roosevelt or Civil Rights leaders like Martin Luther King. Too often, we believe that these individuals had their destinies set in stone, and did not fear anyone or anything. Nothing could be further from the truth. Historical figures had to conquer self-doubt and fear just like everyone else. There was nothing they did that was pre-ordained, they had to go out and make things happen. In your life, in your relationships, and at your job, you are going to feel fear. You are going to have moments of self-doubt. That makes you human. Whether you are an entry level employee or the CEO, you are going to have times when you feel overwhelmed and wonder what the next step is. The key is not to let your self-doubt consume you. You can feel it in the moment, but then you need to trust your instinct, your training, and your expertise, so that you can chart the path forward confidently.

Brave Man

Everyone Feels Fear

The first thing that is important to remember is that everyone feels fear. It is a natural feeling that everyone has, regardless of their accomplishments. Feeling fear just makes you human. It isn’t about the fear that you feel, it is about how you respond. Which brings us to our next point.

It Isn’t About The Feeling, Its About The Reaction

Have you ever heard the saying, life isn’t about what happens to you, it is about how you respond to those circumstances? That same sentiment applies to feeling fear. When you are feeling fearful after you quit your job to start your own business, the feeling of fear doesn’t matter. It is how you respond to it. Will you stop pursuing your dream? Or will you brush the fear aside and then go after what you want?

Start Small And Build Your Way Up

You don’t have overcome your biggest fears in a moment’s notice. You can start small and then work your way up? Are you afraid to swim? Try out a swimming class. Afraid of public speaking? Try making a speech in front of some of your friends first. These tests will help you to learn how to overcome fear and be more comfortable in the moment.

If you are trying to change personally, you probably already know how difficult it is. Personal change can be quite difficult, especially for adults. It is relatively easy for children to change their habits, feelings, and tendencies, but adults have years of habits and are more often stuck in their ways. Changing for the better isn’t easy, but it can bring you great benefits and joy. You might want to change to become more open to new ideas. Perhaps you need to learn a new technology. Or maybe even a new language. The first step is to putting down your preconceived notions and being willing to try something new. To have your worldview changed. To learn new perspectives. Let’s explore what change means for us and how we can get better at it.

Personal Change

Change Is Naturally Difficult For Humans

Although change in life is inevitable, we often build a persona as children and adolescents and then stick with it as we age. Our brains are programmed to follow routines and to try to make order of what can be very random events in our lives. So when we are tasked with personal change, often we reject it. If our doctor tells us that we have to start eating more fruits and vegetables, it can be almost impossible to get started. It is easy to revert back to what we’ve known. But although we might recoil at the thought of personal change, it is often good for us and helps to broaden our horizons.

We Must Learn To Embrace Change Rather Than Resist It

Big companies that resist change often stagnate and then become irrelevant over time. There were companies in the early 1900s who resisted the shift to cars. Companies in the 1990s that resisted the shift to the internet. And there will eventually be a new technology that disrupts a major industry and those who cannot adapt will find themselves on the outside looking in. The same goes for people. People who did not adapt to the internet in the 1990s, and who refused to learn how to use it, found themselves missing out on a major economic opportunity. Those who embraced the change of the internet and learned new skills found themselves with the ability to get new jobs and make more money. There are times in work, relationships, and other aspects of our personal lives when we need to embrace change instead of resisting it.

Heading Success After Change

Change Can Be Good For Us

Change can be scary, especially when that change isn’t initiated on our own terms. But it can be good for us. Change can help us to stay dynamic and relevant as the times change. Refusing to change can leave us with fewer skills in a fast moving global economy. Change is never going to be easy, but being willing to learn and grow is a special ingredient to personal success.

The new year is here, and for many people, that means a new set of new year’s resolutions. Resolutions, for most people, get set every year, but only a few people end up following through and turning those resolutions to reality. When so many people set resolutions at the beginning of each year, why do so many people fall short? The problem is that although we have good intentions and are willing to dream, we too often aren’t willing to change our habits. In order to reach personal success, we have to change ingrained habits that require us to go the extra mile even when we don’t feel like it. For example, the most common resolution is to lose weight. But inevitably there comes a day when we don’t feel like running on the treadmill, driving through the snow to the gym after work, or giving up the greasy food we’ve become accustomed to. Here are a few ways you can start following through on your resolutions and reaching your goals in 2018.

Thinking About New Year Resolution

Write Your Goals Down

There’s something special about writing your goals down. It makes them real. It makes them tangible. When we don’t write our goals down, it becomes easy to forget about it, or to tell ourselves that we didn’t mean it. Writing your goals down is the first step to accomplishing them. So don’t let your resolutions languish in your head. Write them in a notepad, on your iPhone, on a post it note. Make sure that it is somewhere you can read on a consistent basis.

Start On Them Immediately And Build Good Habits

Don’t put your goals off until Febuary or March. Don’t tell yourself that you will do it later. Start on your goals immediately. For example, if your goal is to become a better leader at work, start the new year by asking your co-workers to be honest with you about what skills you need to work on. Talk to your boss about the same thing. Look up leadership seminars and classes in your area. Set a schedule for attending them and write down notes that you can implement and use when you are on the job.

Hold Yourself Accountable

This is where things get difficult. You might start setting a good habit, but then you don’t hold yourself accountable. Holding yourself accountable means if you say you are going to go to the gym 4 days a week, then you go 4 days a week. You track your progress and make sure that you don’t start slacking off.

Don’t Quit When Things Get Tough

There’s always going to be bumps in the road. Sometimes life is going to throw you a curveball. The most important thing is that you don’t quit. If you want to lose weight, there are going to be days when it feels like you are moving at a snail’s pace. If you want to get a new job, some days will feel like you aren’t going to make it. But by giving up you turn those fears into reality. Have the courage to keep your head up and keep going, and in the end you will reap the rewards.

Personal development is one of those buzzwords that gets a lot of people talking these days. However, not enough people actually know what personal development is all about. Personal development isn’t about making other people like you more, or creating a false image of yourself. It is about genuine positive change in your personal life, such as quitting a smoking habit, becoming a better leader, or getting over a fear of change.

Personal Development

Too Many People Are Doing Personal Development For The Wrong Reasons

So many people get personal development wrong because they think it is only about changing other people’s perception of them. Personal development isn’t about an image. When you are focused on what other people think of you, you can’t fully develop as a person. And what’s worse, you won’t keep up the personal development and make it a habit—as soon as you think your image has changed, you’ll stop. So do you want to actually become a better leader? Or do you just want people to think that you are a leader? Developing leadership qualities and working on them over time can produce a host of benefits, such as climbing up the job ladder.

Are You Doing Personal Development For Your Own Growth?

If you are doing personal development for your image alone, you are bound to fail. You won’t put in the right amount of effort and you won’t sustain the work over long periods of time. But if you are in personal development for your own growth, you will work hard to establish the daily habits that you need in order to reach success. Before you get started on any personal development challenge, you need to ask yourself why. Why do you want to become a better leader? Why do you want to go back to school? Why do you want to lose weight? If you are doing these things for the wrong reasons, then your motivation won’t last very long.

Self Satisfied Lady

For Development To Last, You Need To Be Doing It For Yourself

When you are trying to develop your skills and improve personality, you’ll be willing to put the effort in for the long term. That means if you want to lose weight to be healthier, you’ll change your eating habits for good instead of just working out a bit harder for the summer months. It means you’ll look at ways to improve as a leader and as a person that you can use in all aspects of your life. Personal development means being introspective and looking at what you can change about yourself, instead of looking outward and wondering how you can change your image or perception.

If you are ready to let go of who you are for who you can become then let us help you get started. A free conversation with one of our coaches is eye-opening and will focus you on your next step.

At different points in our lives, we’ve all felt fear. Maybe you had fear that you weren’t going to be able to pass a class in college. Maybe you had fear that you weren’t going to be good enough to get the job. Or maybe you thought that you had a personal flaw that would ruin a relationship. Fear is normal, and it is something that we can overcome on the path to success. But sometimes we let fear and self-doubt fester and turn into self-limiting beliefs. These kinds of beliefs are particularly dangerous to our success because they stop us from striving to be great. They prevent us from trying to reach our full potential.


What Are Self-Limiting Beliefs?

It is important to recognize the difference between a belief rooted in fact and a self-limiting belief. A belief rooted in fact would be something such as, “space shuttles can leave Earth’s gravity because of propulsion,” or “humans don’t have gills, so they can’t breathe underwater.” Those are factual claims that can be backed up by evidence. Self-limiting beliefs are not backed up by evidence, but we pretend that they. An example of a self-limiting belief might be “I’ll never find a career that I’ll enjoy,” or “I’ll never have the determination to get my Master’s degree.” Those aren’t factual statements. They are fears and self doubt that we allowed to fester too long.

Why Are Self-Limiting Beliefs Dangerous?

Self-limiting beliefs are dangerous because they assume two things: one, that we are unbearably flawed, and two, that there is nothing we can do to change those flaws. If we believe these self-limiting beliefs, ultimately we stop trying to improve and better ourselves altogether. That’s why self-limiting beliefs are dangerous—not because they are true or false, but because they take away our drive and our will to get better.

Defeat Self-limits

How To Remove Self-Limiting Beliefs From Your Life

Self-limiting beliefs can be difficult to tackle, especially if they become ingrained in your mentality. But you can remove them from your life. Self-limiting beliefs are rooted in fear, and if you face that fear, you can move past them. For example, your self-limiting belief might be that you’ll never get over your fear of public speaking, so you shouldn’t take a public speaking class. By facing the fear (you can practice at home, practice in front of a few friends first) you can build up the confidence necessary to not only take the class, but to take it and succeed. Don’t let self-limiting beliefs become a prophecy. You can face your fears and overcome them.

Have you ever sat by yourself, finished some ice cream, and felt guilty? Or have you told your friends that you were too tired to go out on a weekend and felt guilty afterwards? You aren’t the only one. We are socialized to take the feelings of other people into account. Not just how they feel about us personally, but how they feel about our actions. So if we decide not to go to the gym, we’ll think about how others would feel about us for making that decision. And we feel guilty.

Guilty Businessman

From A Young Age We’re Taught Certain Actions Should Elicit Guilt

We are taught early on in our lives that guilt and shame should motivate us to change our actions. And it is true—you can use those emotions to get children to recognize that bullying or stealing is wrong, for example. But the problem is when those emotions are applied to our everyday lives as adults, and we feel guilty for eating “too much,” or taking some personal time to ourselves. We have to recognize that when you are doing something for yourself, it isn’t a reason to feel guilty. You are allowed to eat a little extra or take some time off.

You Are Allowed To Say No

It can be really difficult to tell your friends, family members, or co-workers no. Maybe your friends want to go on a vacation that you don’t have the money for right now. Or maybe your family member wants you to give them a loan for a new car. Or maybe your co-worker just wants you to pick up their shift. Saying no can be difficult, but once you realize that you can do it, it can be really liberating.

Happy Woman

Enjoy The Lifestyle You Feel Comfortable With

When you stop feeling guilty for enjoying your life, you’ll feel a weight lift off of your shoulders. You’ll find that your job feels easier, your true friendships feel more rewarding, and you’ll feel more at ease with yourself. It is important to recognize that life isn’t about feeling guilty or feeling shame because of what other people might think. It is about making sure that you feel good about yourself, are bettering yourself, and are working towards your goals in a healthy and constructive manner. You do all of those things with positive energy, not with the negativity that comes along with guilt and shame.